Saturday, April 23, 2011

Ghost of you.

This Entry Is In English.Emo Time

I am feeling too lazy to take care of any hearts right now. Enough with mine stepped on every day.

It has been a while. Almost a year since the day that change everything. Sharp 17 May later on, it is the anniversary of a bad memory that changed my whole life. If it is not because of it,I would never be stranded in this UiTM Shah Alam,renewing my whole life,renewing my wholly broken heart,but forgetting you is something that I couldnt do.

Nur Liyana binti Roslan. I know you would not like this post, but, I made this as a recognition for you. The life we had before together was beautiful,but since the day that made me and yourself both confused at the same time,it was something that me myself cant forget and it kept haunting me day by day,everyday, ever since before until today,right now at this moment.

Each of those sleeps ever since before until today,last night,is haunted by your presence,with all those good things we ever had before. Sleepless nights came along with your presence in almost every single time I land myself for a nap. And I really mean it. Every single time.

It came along with all those words that we both,each other,promised together ever since our early moments until our last days being together.

I know that I screwed a lot. I made mistakes as well. I admit my part being a fool for letting you down. A girl like you is not supposed to be treated foolishly like I did before.

Your absence had taught me myself on what Love and Life really are. And I learnt it well. Many kinds of people in this world that I met after you, from the hot ones to those ugly fags,the poor and the rich,the real player and the loyal lovers. There was just too many to list down. I was in search for what really Love is, I want to understand more on it.

What I found is that, the girl that I only love is you. The real love. Nur Liyana Binti Roslan. Despite with all the other shits and stuff,it doesnt matter. To me,Love is You. You are the one that I had always thought about all the time ever since before and now. You are everything. If there would be another chance to be with you again,coupling wont be the choice. I want to lead the love itself to marriage. Seriously.

And right now I am foolishly putting this on my blog,just because I want to put on a recognition for you,for being someone special in my life ever before,for being someone that thought me lots and lots of meanings,and last but not least,for shaping me to someone new right now. I maybe not having any other relationships later on because I dont want to see any more hearts broken being rebounds. Yes ladies,I was a jerk. A jerk that is still in love with his past girlfriend. Better get away now.

I dont know when can I move on with someone new. What I know is that all I want to do is to be better day by day. Just let Allah take good care of everything. I will pray for your happiness with Mohd Faiz Zakaria. May your relationship with him lasts long,and always filled with love and happiness.


Syakirah Azami said...

i had my eyes teary. hairil, this sounds so real and sincere :')

violet anggerik said...

whoaa..same ngan aku dowhh.. tersentuh aku bace..

wardahsakinah said...

aku pown (':

.::: mr IQ :::. said...

bila nak bercinta dgn Allah ni hairil?.... Cinta manusia ni takkan kekal...
meh sini koreksi diri http://bersamakepuncak.blogspot.com/2011/04/agak-agak-10-peratus-sampai-tak.html

Anonymous said...

both of you dont deserve each other. both make mistakes, thus your separation. clearly you are not meant to be. move on dude.

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